I apologize if this little digital rag is an hour late, but my computer's internal clock doesn't observe Daylight Savings Time.   Hell, my computer doesn't observe any kind of time.

I have actually known people (I'm not exactly proud to say) that think there is surely an hour more daylight, and can't figure out just where it came from. I tell them it came from Boise, Idaho, which has the largest Daylight Time Factory in the free world. Actually, there's one more daylight factory somewhere in New Zealand, whose client base is strong the other six months of the year. These people I tell this to really believe me, while we sit back swilling the moonshine they just cooked up. They don't care, since the revenuers work at night!

I was having donuts this morning with a fellow after Church - I didn't actually GO to Church, because I was an hour late - but this fellow told me that DST was thought of by a guy who wanted us to change our clocks for 20-minutes on each Sunday in April and October. No kidding. It was the idea of a London builder. (Does that say anything?) 20-minutes the first Sunday, twenty the next, and so on. Sort of a g-r-a-d-u-a-l shift in time. Would we have to inspect our smoke alarms each Sunday, also?

I suppose he knows when he's eaten about an hour early! And, that's only if he makes it across the road, safely. Go figure.

And a word for my friends in parts of Indiana, all of Arizona and Hawaii, where do you get off not having Daylight Savings Time? Who waved the magic wand over your hallowed dirt, making YOU different? Did the Boise factory put a rookie salesman on your account, or what? Can you folks change the weather, too? How 'bout taxes and death, eh, eh, eh?

Well, I don't let it bother me anymore. I just change all my clocks, sit back, and watch my VCR blink *01:00* until next October, when everything gets back to normal, and I still show up an hour late for Church.