Poor Rush Limbaugh. This poor pitiful guy. How dare his critics jump on this ... this ... this mellow, humble and oh so fragile a human being, and then have the audacity to accuse him of racism. This deeply saddens me. I'm just sick that this ... this Overworked Orifice of the Ridiculously Right now has to grovel to get back in our graces. Poor guy. Give this man a big hug.

Just in case you missed it, Limbaugh, in a commentary on a National Football League pregame show, intimated that one particular quarterback in the League gained his starting position only because he was black. The resultant scrum caused Limbaugh to resign his short-lived sports gig.

Well, always attempting to provide solutions, I offer a suggestion to help Rush find a way to mend fences with the world, and gain back some semblance of his apparent total loss of self-esteem. His pal, Dub'ya, should send this Pathetic Proponent of Poop to ... to Iraq.

That's right, appoint him "America's Goodwill Ambassador" to Iraq to help them work out their difficulties finding democracy. After all, Rush DOES have all the answers to all the world's problems. We know that because he tells us so. Daily. So let's give 'ol Rush a chance to work off a little of that excess verbal baggage he carries around, and do some good for humanity. It's only "nation building", for cryin' out loud. Anyone who can discuss the merits of a shotgun four-wideout offense into a three-deep secondary can CERTAINLY "nation build", right?

Of course, in his new role as Prefect of Persia, he would still have his radio show - we would demand it. After all, Rush realizes, as do we, that a day without Rush is a day without ... well ... without life. He provides us with a reason to ... to exist.

Rush will need a hobby in this new foreign assignment. Perhaps he could establish (and, announce for) The Iraqi Football League - the IFL. He knows and LOVES football Soooooo much. I can just hear him, now: "Can a Kurdish wide receiver make it in the IFL? You know, with the turban, and all." Luckily, Rush would be able to draw upon his vast knowledge bank to expound on the answer.

Oh, this will be glorious. This is the right thing to do. We're ALL here for you, Rush. You Mega Ditto Meister, you!