I am surprised, but more than that, I am humbled. Last weekend, due to an extended stay in Tampa (I had to spend an extra night in jail because I couldn't pay my tab at this Foo-Foo restaurant named Bern's Steak House) - anyway, because of my Tampa soiree, I didn't send out The Fortnight Weekly ... first time that's happened since it all started almost two years ago.

And so, a number of you emailed or called ... wondering what had possibly become of me (or, perhaps more realistically, what had happened to the Monday morning pearl of zesty poppycock that IS this effort). Humbling, indeed. Won't happen again ... at least until June when I plan on a month off to catch up on some "O'C Time"!

Anyway, let me tell you one quickie about this Tampa restaurant which "ran the tab" last Sunday night. (Or, was it "rang my clock"? Two or three of you were with me, but somehow avoided the night in jail. How'd you score that?)

There's a wine cellar in this eatery - a BIG one ... quite well known, I'm told, and after dinner, we were given a tour. Wines from three, and maybe four centuries, for cryin' out loud. One bottle cost $5,000.00, and the guy who'd just purchased it was storing it until he could "take some afternoon off, and come over and drink it", according to the wine cellar guy. Man, that's an expensive "Happy Hour", eh?

Also in the cellar was a half empty (OK, half full) corked bottle of still-servable and drinkable wine from 1839, or so. That's not a typo - 1839! And, people actually order an ounce or two. Maybe it's got some kick, or something, but I wasn't about to spend a couple of hundred bucks for a sniff ... plus, I knew I had a two-month-old RC Cola in the ice-box back home that could possibly provide the same 'rush'.

After we toured the wine cellar, we went into ... and partook of ... the separate and distinct "dessert room". They start a new tab there - and, that's where I got into trouble. Your party sits in its own little enclosed cubicle with piped in music - it could serve as a jail cell if you don't pay. That's actually the closest I got to jail, because the dessert room's menu is 39 pages long!

Thanks again for your thoughts, and sorry I missed you last week. And, someone please tell me why someone would pay $250.00 for a shot of 1839 wine, when they got Mogen David on sale up there at the Seven-Levin for a buck-fifty-nine?