As you read this, you might ask, "Wow...where's O'Connell going with THIS one?" Though it appears to border on risque, just trust me. Can you hear me now?

Let's talk about cell phones. More specifically, when not to use cell phones. Two recent scenarios come to mind - I'll "make up" the details so as not to embarrass anyone...like myself:

The Preacher is wrapping up the eulogy on Uncle Ben's sudden passing. Not a dry eye in the place. RING RING ... your cell phone, set on "LOUD", flashes an update that your college water polo team is winning at intermission.
Can you hear me, now?
You're in a conference room, driving home a $240-thousand dollar deal. It's down to, "The Next Person Who Speaks, Loses" stage. RING RING ... your wife calls to inform you that the tire pressure is low on the Blazer's right-rear, and little Mitzy picked her scab. You lose the deal.
Can you hear me, now?

Well here's the kicker, and this happened to me at the Orlando Arena last weekend. And this is why I'm adding restrooms to funeral parlors and conference rooms on my No Cell List.

It's two hours before a game I'm producing. Regular public gates aren't open yet. I'm alone in this huge Men's Room on the mezzanine level, standing and staring at the wall in front of me ... doing my own "number one" thing, don't 'cha know. I hear someone else walk in ... and of the thirty-some-odd other urinals in the joint, this guy picks the one right next to me.

It's quiet. And all of a sudden this perfect stranger, in this echoey cavern of a public restroom, whispers "Hey...hows' about gettin' together later on?" Still staring straight ahead, I gulp, expedite my biddness, zip up, and get the hell 'outta there ... only to hear the guy still talking ... on his freaking cell phone. Can you PLEASE hear me, NOW?

As a postscript, I must report that I re-entered this same restroom well after the game was over. Yep, there was another guy in there ... this time in a closed "number two" stall ... catch my drift ... alone ... just a-talkin' away in there. Holy Cow, I hope he was on a cell phone in there! Man, oh, man!

"...But my words like silent raindrops fall ... and echo ... in the Sounds of Silence."